Bryan C. Fleming

When Is It Time To Leave?

This article is written by Lorraine Cohen.  She took me up on my offer to be guest blogger and wrote an excellent article.  I’m proud of Lorraine for making a hard decision to leave her mastermind group.  We’ve all had to make hard decisions like this.  In this article not only does she tell her story, but also gives some good tips on how you know when it’s time to say goodbye.  Thanks Lorraine.

I’ve been in a mastermind group for 4 years. We’re good friends and I’ve grown tremendously with these folks over the years. We originally came together to support each other in growing our business as well as growing ourselves. If you’re unfamiliar with masterminding, read Karyn Greenstreet’s article  or the one at SpeakerNet News.
Well, last year I started thinking about leaving the group. In fact, several days before each meeting I felt tremendous resistance and avoidance bubbling to the surface. Instead of looking forward to the group support, I was dreading it!
Looking more closely,  I realized most of my resistance had to do with accountability, self-sabotage, and limiting beliefs. It became clear that leaving the group at that time meant running away from opportunities to break through some key issues with the support of the group. So, I stayed another year and broke through a lot of personal and business barriers with the support of this fabulous team.
Several weeks ago, I felt another big tug to leave the group. Was it time to go? We’d been together for 4 years and the meetings had lost the energy and juice I used to find motivating. In fact, I had been feeling bored and itching to be involved with a new different group of people and fresher viewpoints for several months.
Oh - the self-talk! Those conversations we have in our heads! The stories and dramas we imagine are our own personal soap operas:
1. They’ll be upset with me if I tell them I want to leave.
2. They won’t understand and support me.
3. The group will fall apart if I leave because we’re so small.
4. They’ll try to convince me to stay. I’ll feel so guilty about leaving that I’ll stay a while longer.
5. Maybe if we brought some new folks into the group…..
I could go on and on.
I knew it was time to move on. What was prompting me to leave was a sense of completion rather than the issues of avoidance I faced last year. We had come as far as we could together in this venue and it was time to take the next steps in a new direction. So I told them, and yesterday we closed out the group over a lovely lunch in the garden. Everything went well.
Too often I hear people talk about holding onto things they know in their hearts they need to release. They override their instincts and inner wisdom to remain in situations that cost them happiness and peace. In the long run, everyone loses because no one is happy.
So, how do you know when it’s time to leave and move on?
Do some deeper introspection to get clear on your motivations for leaving. If you are motivated by fear and avoidance, pay attention to the justifications and rationalizations you construct to prove your position to leave. Staying a bit longer might provide you with great opportunities to grow! If you feel in your heart that you are complete and leaving is the best decision, do it. Moving on is also a service to others because change offer possibilities and opportunities for new things to happen. Celebrate the value of the experience and the contributions others made to your life.
So, today I feel a bit sad about the disbanding of the group. And, I’m excited about what’s next.
How about you? What might you be holding onto that is now time for you to release? What’s it costing you to hang on?
Lorraine Cohen, President of Powerfull Living, brings more than 25 years experience in personal and business coaching, psychological counseling, and sales to thousands of business owners, entrepreneurs, and leaders to have greater business career success and personal happiness in their life. Visit www.powerfull-living.biz to learn more about Lorraine’s services, success products, and programs. Sign up for her monthly ezine, free fear ecourse, and blog.